Was I a Pussy Today?

I’ve started asking myself that question at the end of the day.

“Was I a Pussy Today?”

It’s in my Evernote end of the day review file and I have to mark “Yes” or “No” next to it.

It’s a sobering thing to ask yourself. It’s easy to rationalize away less emotionally charge questions like “was I productive?” but I think everyone pretty much knows when they were being a pussy whether they admit it to themselves or not.

I’ve started calling some customers to sell Valet Up in order to get our first customers set up and I feel the same Resistance I did when I first started sending cold emails. The same lizard brain gears are engaging.

It’s very tempting to start being a pussy again. I have lots of good rationalizations.

  • I have to make the calls late at night because of time zones and I’m more of a morning person. Why can’t our crew in San Diego make the calls?
  • This product wasn’t my idea. I didn’t get to do the fun part of building it. Why do I have to sell it?
  • Monday isn’t a good day to call, everyone’s busy on Monday morning.

There are lots more and they are all equally rational sounding.

They’re also all excuses for being a pussy.

And that’s the problem. Being a pussy is really just avoiding doing the work, the shit that actually matters by distracting yourself with other bullshit work that you convince yourself matters.

It’s the ultimate way to be efficient without being effective.

The habit of not being a pussy is the habit of fighting the Resistance. Of recognizing that feeling and mounting the dragon.

It’s always clear to me in retrospect that whatever I was doing that made me feel that hollow pit sensation in my stomach was exactly what I needed to be doing, The most meaningful things that have happened to me in my life, have all been preceded by that same feeling of the Resistance. Of a deep hollow pit in my stomach. That’s true even when the outcomes that I go right away weren’t what I wanted.

I was supposed to onboard our first customer at Valet Up on Thursday, but he sent me an email to push the meeting back a week and now might want to wait until the beginning of the year. So I’ve been hacking at this for about 2 weeks now and still haven’t successfully sold anyone on the software. I’m more confident than ever though that it’s what I need to be doing.

I read Linchpin a few weeks ago and it was inspiring to me that Seth published in the final book instances during writing where he felt the Resistance. No matter what level you get to, it’s always hard emotional work to stop being a pussy. The Resistance always wants you to be a pussy.

I can feel it right now too. Who are you to be writing to people about fighting the Resistance? What have you ever done that makes you qualified? You give in to the Resistance all the time. You’ve been trying to sell a product for 2 weeks and don’t have one customer using it yet.

And maybe those are all true and I’m not qualified. There are certainly a lot of people more qualified that have fought through much greater amounts of the Resistance than I have. I definitely do give in and lose to the Resistance on some days.

But I’ll publish this post and if no one reads it or a bunch of people read it and think I’m some self-aggrandizing prick, when I look back on my day tonight, I’ll get to write down No.

No. Today I Wasn’t A Pussy.

P.S. I really like the practice of calling out the Resistance out loud. Try it. Try saying this 10 times out loud without laughing.

“The Resistance is trying to stop me. The Resistance doesn’t want me to Win. The Resistance wants me to be a pussy.”

As soon as you vocalize it, it sounds absurd that this invisible force is stopping you from doing something that you know is the best thing you can possibly do for yourself.

Enter Your Email for Articles on Business Philosophy, Frameworks and Mental Models

  • http://relate.ly/ Matt Kress

    Absolutely dude. They have all the old sayings, “it takes 8 no’s to get a yes.” Well that sucks getting turned down 8 times.

    We all know it’s ultimately a numbers game which means you’re getting turned down exponentially more for each yes you get. It’s just about knowing you have something valuable to provide and taking those objections as those other people’s resistance to purchasing. They want to purchase when they provide objections. Help them overcome their own fears and get to the yes.

  • http://twitter.com/JohnMcIntyre_ John McIntyre

    IMO, you should focus on the positive… so instead of “was I a pussy today” you say “was I a badass motherfucker today?”.

    Instead of avoiding being a pussy (which means you could be a range of other things) you focus on being a very specific type of person (a badass motherfucker).

    It’s the difference between

    “I am not poor”

    and

    “I am very wealthy”

    Remember think and grow rich? Always state your goal in the positive.

    P.S. Replace “badass motherfucker” with whatever works…

    “Master salesman”

    “Ballsy dude”

    Etc.

    • http://twitter.com/JohnMcIntyre_ John McIntyre

      Also get a copy of Straight Line Persuasion by Jordan Belfort (available online). Perfect for your sales calls.

      • http://www.chiaracokieng.com/ Chiara Cokieng

        Badasses. Both of you.

  • Matthew Newton

    If you’re making calls and they’re about sales, Ari Galper is your training material. He was mine.. He deals with the problem of triggering the “yet another salesman” lizard brain reaction on the other side of the phone.

    And now the idea of making phone calls.. still bothers me slightly.. but nowhere near as much as it did.

  • Matthew Newton

    My comment has gone AWOL it seems.

    Another point I was going to share was this one:

    “What would I do if I wasn’t afraid?”

    I had it sticky taped to the top of my monitor.

  • http://www.firegang.com/ Jacob Puhl

    Awesome stuff. At DCBKK I think Covel quickly mentioned the self talk he uses when he’s feeling resistance. He basically just says “If I don’t do this, I’m a huge pussy”. I like the positive self talk like John says, but for some reason the negative talk motivates me. For example, if I don’t work out tonight, I’m a huge fat slob that deserves a sloppy mushroom gut. PS – If it makes you feel better, we created a new product in August. Me, the biz parter and the outbound telesales rep have been calling for 3 months now. We’re now about 3,000 cold calls in and have yet to make the first sale, but I know it’s the right thing to do. Pipeline is huge and we’ll probably close in the next 3 weeks, so patience is key for us. But that’s 3,000 ‘no’s so far and 3,000 instances of overcoming resistance between all of us.

  • http://supremacyseo.com/ Travis Jamison

    Simon Stock and have frequently said all it takes is making one uncomfortable decision a day to become successful.

  • Cristina C. Ansbjerg

    “The Resistance is trying to stop me. The Resistance doesn’t want me to Win. The Resistance wants me to be a pussy.” That’s me today.

    • http://www.frontierlivin.com/ Taylor Pearson

      Crush it!