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Metaphors We Live By – George Lakoff

Metaphors We Live By

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Summary

An Iranian student who moved to the U.S. to study chemistry. He noticed that he kept hearing people talking about the “solution of my problems.”

Being a chemist, he understood the word “solution” to mean a liquid chemical solution, the kind you would have in a lab. The “solution of my problems,” as he understood it, was like a test tube that bubbled and smoke with all the complexity of your problems inside.

You could heat it up and cool it down. You could add other chemicals to it and this might make the problems stronger or weaker. However, the solution would never completely go away, it was just an always changing composition.

This stuck him as an elegant and thoughtful way to talk about problems: everyone has problems in their life. Sometimes more, sometimes fewer, and of different intensities, but problems are a normal part of life that we all deal with every day.

Of course, this is not actually what the phrase “solution of my problems” means to most people. We use a very different metaphor.

The metaphor we’re actually using when we refer to the “solution” is thinking of problems in terms of a puzzle.

We try to “solve” our problems. Having a problem is like having an uncompleted puzzle, it’s something that is not right and needs to be fixed.

Unlike the liquid chemical solution metaphor that the young Iranian student understood, the puzzle metaphor suggests that problems are something that can be definitively fixed. Once it’s fixed, the problem is gone and never needs to be re-addressed, just like a completed puzzle requires no more work once it’s done.

A problem is not a puzzle, nor is it a chemical solution. The idea of a “problem” is an abstract concept that isn’t rooted in a specific physical reality.

Thinking about abstract concepts is hard and so we tend to rely on metaphors to process them and root them in our natural experience.

We use metaphors to think about all the most important things in our life: love, time, ideas, arguments, labor, happiness, health, and morality are all abstract concepts that we think about in terms of metaphors rooted in our day-to-day experience.

These concepts require metaphorical definition, since they are not clearly enough delineated in their own terms to satisfy the purposes of our day-to-day functioning.

However, as the “solution of my problems” examples show: the metaphor you use has a really big impact on how you relate to that concept and how it guides your behavior.

I have problems. Everyone has problems. The puzzle metaphor we use for problems suggests that something is wrong and needs to be fixed. Therefore we should be stressed about it and work to “solve” it.

If we use a chemical solution metaphor, however, problems simply become the nature of life, and—while we can, and should, do things to address those problems and try and make the solution better—they’ll never completely go away; they will merely change over time and that’s ok.

Neither of these metaphors can be proven to be “right” or “wrong” in any meaningful way. They are equally valid. However, I think most of us would agree that thinking of our problems as chemical solutions is probably a healthier way of thinking about them that would be less stressful than seeing them as unsolvable puzzles.

Metaphors are almost like a human operating system, affecting how we deal with reality. in a very subtle and profound way.

Consider the concept of “argument” as another example. In modern society, the default metaphor for argument is war.

All the words we use to talk about arguing are also words we use to talk about war. Once we start seeing ourselves as in an argument, we have framed our behavior to act as if we are at war.

We see the person as an opponent who we want to triumph over. When someone opens an argument with us, we feel like we are being assaulted. We attack their positions and gain or lose ground as the argument goes on.

This is not something happening consciously, but is a by product of how all humans relate to and use metaphors. Once you are in that metaphor, it shapes your behavior and thinking in ways that are incredibly subtle and powerful.

Imagine, instead,  the metaphor for argument was dancing. A point of contention would be a particularly dramatic moment in the dance. Your partner (not opponent) would step towards you, not to attack, but to work with you to create a movement that was beautiful, elegant, and true. One partner moving backward wouldn’t be seen as losing, but letting the other partner lead when they were stronger at this particular dance — a logical thing to do when you’re dancing, but not when you are at war.

If both people in an argument thought of it as a dance instead of a war, the purpose would be to have give and take with the ultimate goal of making something true and beautiful.

This is a much more pragmatic way of approaching an argument. You’ll learn more and arrive at something closer to the truth.

In general, the metaphors we use around particular concepts tend to be very culturally rooted and so it’s often better to just use other words. I tend to avoid arguments and try to frame them as discussions, which have a much more give-and-take association without a clear goal of winning or losing.

The important insight here is that the words and metaphors we use are not merely describing reality. They are creating it.

If you have a one-hour meeting scheduled with someone and you name it an “argument”, that meeting will go very differently than if you call it a “discussion”.

Metaphors have traditionally been viewed as a matter of language rather than primarily as a means of structuring our conceptual system and how we behave on a day-to-day basis.

It may seem weird to say that words change reality. But, they do. Words change our conceptual system which changes how we perceive the world and how we act upon those perceptions.

Philosopher Bertrand Russell made a similar observation that words have two different components:

  1. The factual content of the word or phrase.
  2. The emotional content of the construction.

Russell discussed this by putting three such presentations of a common underlying fact in the form in which a verb is typically conjugated. For example, here are three phrases that describe the exact same person.

However, which of these words is used impacts how we perceive the person. When someone is described as firm, that is positive: they are standing up for what they believe in.

When someone is described as pigheaded, that is negative: they are uncompromising and won’t change their mind in light of new information.

Many commentators like to say that we are living in a “post-truth” society and insist on “fact-checking”, but this whole premise belies that there is one objectively correct way of interpreting reality. There’s not. There never was.

Once we accept that we have to reason through metaphors, we also have to accept that there is no absolute standpoint from which to obtain objective truths about the world. This does not mean that there are no truths. It means that truth is relative to our conceptual system, which is grounded in our experiences and those of other members of our culture in our daily interactions with other people and with our physical and cultural environments.

As Lakoff says:

Though there is no absolute objectivity, there can be a kind of objectivity relative to the conceptual system of a culture. The point of impartiality and fairness in social matters is to rise above relevant individual biases. The point of objectivity in scientific experimentation is to factor out the effects of individual illusion and error. This is not to say that we can always, or even ever, be completely successful in factoring out individual biases to achieve complete objectivity relative to a conceptual system and a cultural set of values.

Though we tend to think about “memes” as funny things that people post on Instagram, they are far more than that. They are how we negotiate and alter the conceptual system of our culture.

In Europe during the Middle Ages, the dominant metaphor for life was Fortune’s Wheel. The Wheel which plunged down the mighty and (more rarely) raised, the lowly. The metaphor of Fortune’s Wheel implied that progress, moral or material, was not expected during this life on earth.

Since then, Western culture has evolved the notion of “progress” and it has become rooted in our metaphors. History “marches” on, implying that it is leading somewhere, not just spinning around.

People talk about the “right side of history”, a phrase that makes no sense if you think of history as a wheel spinning in circles. How can one be on the “right” side of a wheel?

We would all benefit from becoming more aware of our existing metaphors and choosing them carefully.

Developing an awareness of the metaphors we live by and an awareness of where they enter into our everyday lives, we can start to be more mindful about which metaphors are serving us and which are not.

When we start to alter our language, we also start to alter how we and those around us interact with reality. I never say I am arguing with someone because it isn’t productive and it doesn’t really serve me (or them).

New metaphors are capable of creating new understandings and, therefore, new realities. Over the long run, the pen really is mightier than the sword.

Notes

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